“Everything I am, everything I long to be I lay it down, at Your feet. I lay it down, I lay it down, I lay it down.. at Your feet. -Matt Maher
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Pride & Prejudice, but it’s filled with visually beautiful scenes, one of which takes place at a dance. All the women are wearing white dresses, there are candlesticks and tapestries and other 1800’s such things. It’s beautiful, really. Well a few weeks ago while I was praying God showed me a scene that looked startlingly similar to what I’ve just described, but with myself inserted into it, pretty white dress and all. Jesus was also present, standing solo on the dance floor looking rather dashing in his suit, haha. In my vision I’m sitting at a table with people I love, eating healthy organic food I love, chattering about my college plans I love, and it’s clear that the table I’m seated at represents everything I love and desire. My family, my friends, my town, my education, my job, my clothes, my independence, my bicycle. Good things, things that are important to me and that I want. But Jesus stands on the dance floor, and he’s waiting for me. He wants me to get up from that table, to let go of all of those things, and dance. Not like I’ve been doing: not to promise a few dances with the thought of then going back to the table to be with everything I want. He wants me to get up without knowing when I’ll sit back down, to show Him that I love Him THAT much, that I trust Him THAT much, that I will give Him everything. That if He asks me, I will dance with Him forever.
In non-romantical words, God is telling me that I need to let go of everything I want. Because my life is not about me anymore, and it’s not about what I want.
Those are not easy words to accept, at least not for me. Accepting those words implies accepting what that means for my life. It means that if God tells me to stay in missions, I’ll do it. It means that if God says no to those college degrees I want so badly, I won’t earn them. It means if God doesn’t want me to get married, I’ll stay single. It means sacrifice, or at the very least, being willing to sacrifice.
It’s an awfully pretty table to sacrifice, I must admit. Especially when my family is so fun to talk to, my plate of vegetables tastes so good, and it’s such a pleasant place to be. However, I’ve decided to lay it all down. Which might mean not going home for Christmas, not going to college, not ever losing the ten pounds I’ve gained abroad. It might mean a lot of sacrifices. But I’m finally willing to make them.
So.. I guess it’s time to dance. = )