Monday April 11th 2011
This mountain road between Pachuca and Poza Rica has become so familiar to me, as well (unfortunately) as the queasy feeling in my stomach from the winding curves that always accompanies me on this journey. This part of Mexico is my home away from Minnesota… the heart of Mexico has become a part of my heart as well, and sometimes I feel like a puzzle piece, placed inside this mass of green jungle and brown smiles, somehow fitting perfectly.
I’ll be in Poza Rica in a few hours, where there will be more green jungle and more brown smiles, and I am filled with the warmth of contentment as I sit here wondering what the next five months will hold. It’s still a struggle for me to comprehend how it is possible for God to love me THIS much, that He would lead me here to this sun-soaked place where every single day holds so much joy. This work stretches my patience, it frustrates me, it makes me feel incompetent when I don’t understand the language, it tires my body, it’s hard, it breaks my heart but at the very same time God is with me every second: filling my heart with His Love that heals. And that is what He is teaching me is more important than anything else, to be filled with Him, to know Him, to love Him, to allow myself to be Loved by Him in return. And yet I still can’t comprehend it, and I don’t know if I ever will understand that all of me is all He wants. All of all of us is all He wants.
Peace to you, lovely people of my life.