I came here to Tijuana three months ago because I wanted to become better equipped to work with children, but God has given me so much more than that. He met with me here next to this ocean and taught me so much more about who He is. God is so good, and so just, and I can say that with all of my heart even though I’ve spent the past three months learning all about the injustices in the world today. My eyes are red and tired from crying after our class about human trafficking today, my stomach is sickened at sexual abuse and I am weary for allowing my heart to feel so much of the world’s pain. But I know that God’s heart is much more broken than mine over these issues, and I am filled with joy because He is asking me to work with Him to fight them. I am honored that He asked me to come here and learn, and I am so thankful for the way in which He met with me here.
He met with me here next to this big blue ocean to show me His heart for me, and His heart for the world. And I have falled in love with God here in a way that I never have before. When I came here I wanted to reach out to the children of the world because I saw that they were in need, and my compassionate heart wanted to do something about it. But the first thing we talked about in this school were our motivations. Why do we want to help people? I was quite offended when compassion fell under a negative motivation… and I couldn’t grasp what was being taught: that God has to be our motivation.
Three months later, I wholly embrace that truth, and I think my understanding of it has everything to do with the fact that I am so much more in love with God now than I was then. The Bible speaks often of God being grieved for us, his children, of God being brokenhearted because of the emotional, physical, and spiritual poverty so many of us live in as a result of our sin. So for those of us who love God… our desire should be to minister to that broken heart of His. To reach out to the vulnerable because God’s heart is broken for them, not because our hearts our broken for them. “To minister to the broken heart of God over sin is to say to God that we want to encourage Him in the midst of the worlds tragedies.” Serving God’s vulnerable people has become so much less about my desire to reach out to them and much more about my desire to reach out to HIM, and I know that this is what is best.
My heart is stirred and I am ready to go out from this place carrying everything I’ve learned and this brand new love for my Maker… and I know that as I continue to walk hand-in-hand with Him there will always be beauty to be found.